3 Musings on Work + Life…Let’s Rumble!
Brené Brown defines “rumble” in Dare to Lead as a “space where we give ourselves permission to talk about difficult, messy or uncomfortable issues without knowing where the process will take us while holding space for curiosity, generosity, and accountability.” This turbulence occurs within us, making a career transition and conflict with colleagues.
1. With ourselves…Good Enough.
Has your inner critic been loud or quiet lately? I have a name for mine. Her name is Lydia. As a reforming perfectionist who is learning to manage my “imposter moments” and appreciating the “perfection of my imperfections,” I quickly soak up any resource on this topic. Recently, I was listening to Abby Wambach talk with Adam Grant on his Think Again podcast. She discussed when to know when projects, life, and relationships are “good enough.”
This phrase reminded me of a book my mom gave me when I was a new mother, thinking I was doing everything wrong. The book was Good Enough Mothers, and I still have it. Accepting that we are “good enough” is a lifelong journey at work and in life. Do you give yourself grace (my intentional word of the year)? If you need another resource to deal with your inner rumbles, listen to Dr. Valerie Young on the Ten Percent Happier podcast on being “good enough.”
2. With our careers…Career Transitions.
Is your career not filling your soul? Do you want to make a career shift? Not everyone needs to have their career fill their soul. However, many of my clients in their 40s and 50s want more from their jobs and feel stuck. It is challenging to rumble with this change, especially if you have done the same role for 20-30 years.
Are you able to find a new role at your organization or “job craft” and create something new? If not, you may want to check out the podcast Hello Monday with Jessi Hempel, where Joanne Lipman, a veteran journalist and author of NEXT: The Power of Reinvention in Life and Work. They dig into Joanne’s framework for navigating significant change and discuss real-life reinventions. Two other helpful resources during this time of reflection are Hidden Blessings, Design your Work Life, and Body of Work. I’ve mentioned these before, and they have exercises and reflections to help you get unstuck.
3. With others…Colleague Conflict.
Most of my clients are in the Pacific Northwest, and we are known for being “nice.” And this can make dealing with conflict challenging. However, the more we rumble with conflict, the easier it gets. It is essential to rumble when the stakes are low, so you have practiced rumbling fairly when they are high.
On the podcast Coaches on Zoom Drinking Coffee (silly name), Alex Pascal, CEO of Coaching.com, and New York Times's Best Selling Author, Liane Davey, discuss all the complexities of teams in both the physical and virtual world. I learned one of my favorite metaphors from her: think of everyday conflict as flossing to avoid a root canal. If you get in the habit of flossing (something most of us don’t like to do), you will most likely prevent a root canal (an explosive conflict). Learning to rumble is a skill in work and life, and Brené Brown’s resources can help us become more comfortable with conflict.
Let’s keep our hearts and minds open, have productive conversations, and be brave with ourselves and others.
A Few Treasures
Young Hearts, Minds, and Bodies
Multnomah Athletic Foundation believes every young person should have the opportunity to compete and participate in sports and have access to educational opportunities. The foundation is committed to providing character and confidence-building opportunities through athletics and education in underserved communities. It provides community grants and scholarships so youth can reach their full potential by learning and working together through athletics. Enjoy our new video capturing this essence.
Yoga Off the Mat
We often think of yoga as a physical exercise - but a centuries-old Sanskrit text, The Yoga Sutras, shares teachings intended to improve both the body and mind. The author, Patanjali, clarifies that the poses and stretches are only part of the picture - we also need to be kind, contemplative and grounded. Jessamyn Stanley (yoga teacher and author of Yoke: My Yoga of Self-Acceptance) takes Dr Laurie Santos (The Happiness Lab podcast) through Patanjali's text - saying its lessons "can be applied in every circumstance, no matter who you are or where you are.”
My Fellow Tauruses
For Your Birthday by John O’Donahue
Blessed be the mind that dreamed the day
The blueprint of your life
Would begin to glow on earth,
Illuminating all the faces and voices
That would arrive to invite
Your soul to growth.
Praised be your father and mother,
Who loved you before you were,
And trusted to call you here
With no idea who you would be.
Blessed be those who have loved you
Into becoming who you were meant to be,
Blessed be those who have crossed your life
With dark gifts of hurt and loss
That have helped to school your mind
In the art of disappointment.
When desolation surrounded you,
Blessed be those who looked for you
And found you, their kind hands
Urgent to open a blue window
In the gray wall formed around you.
Blessed be the fits you never notice,
Your health, eyes to behold the world,
Thoughts to countenance the unknown,
Memory to harvest vanished days,
Your heart to feel the world’s waves,
Your breath to breathe the nourishment
Of distance made intimate by earth.
On this echoing-day of your birth,
May you open the gift of solitude
In order to receive your soul;
Enter the generosity of silence
To hear your hidden heart;
Know the serenity of stillness
To be enfolded anew
By the miracle of your being.
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