January is a time of new beginnings, fresh starts, and resolutions. Selecting a word of the year to guide my intentions has been my tradition over the past few years.
The word CONNECT will support me in 2025. Although others see me as a connector, and it is one of my core values, I need to be reminded why it is important in our lives as humans and leaders.
3 Musings on Connections.
1. Connect to self.
"When we learn to CONNECT with ourselves and learn to love ourselves - shame, perfectionism, and self-criticism fade." Brené Brown
At the end of this year, I found myself distracted with parties, holiday festivities, and illnesses. All these typical occurrences drew me away from myself, and I felt disconnected. I wasn’t consistent with my practices, my imposter moments were more frequent, and my inner critic was louder. I was unavailable in a way that gave me meaning, purpose, and joy.
How to connect with yourself:
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness practices like meditation, breathing exercises, prayer, and guided imagery can help you understand your emotions and feelings. Check out resources with Dan Harris.
Be kind to yourself: Treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you would show a friend. Check out resources with Kristin Neff.
Acknowledge your feelings: Instead of hiding your feelings, try to recognize what's bothering you. Check out resources with Susan David
Keep a journal: Writing in a journal can help you engage with your inner self and reflect on who you are and what you want.
Connecting with ourselves can help us be more self-aware, increase compassion, live more authentically, and act in harmony with our true selves.
2. Connect to others.
“A CONNECTION is the energy between two people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” Brené Brown
Last week, I met with an Executive Director of a nonprofit. We had only met briefly at a networking event, so we did not know each other well. However, we shared similar tragic stories about our moms and brothers over tea. This immediately connected us as we were being vulnerable and authentic.
How to build meaningful connections with others:
Build genuine curiosity: Ask thoughtful questions about others' experiences, perspectives, and interests.
Listen intently: Give your full attention, maintain appropriate eye contact, and reflect on what you hear to ensure understanding.
Share authentically: While appropriate to the context and relationship, be vulnerable with your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Find common ground: Look for shared interests, values, or experiences you can connect over.
Show empathy: Validate their feelings without rushing to solve problems.
Make time for connection: Prioritize regular check-ins and quality time with people who matter to you.
Notice and appreciate: Point out specific things you value about others and express genuine gratitude.
Connecting with others contributes to being part of something larger than ourselves, positively impacting people's lives, and offers a sense of fulfillment.
3. Connect as a leader.
"CONNECT first, lead second. People don't care what you know until they know you care enough to connect with them." John Maxwell
The U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, emphasizes building relationships and social connections to improve health and well-being. He also highlights emotional intelligence (EI)'s role in strengthening relationships.
With the discipline of connecting to yourself and others, you are set up for impact as a leader with developed emotional intelligence.
Popularized by psychologist Daniel Goleman, “emotional intelligence is defined as our capacity to be aware of, control, and express emotions. It enables us as leaders to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.”
According to the Center for Creative Leadership, “increasing your emotional intelligence quotient will directly increase your leadership effectiveness.”
How to connect as a leader with higher emotional intelligence:
Self-awareness: The ability to know your emotions and strengths and recognize their impact on performance and relationships.
Self-management: The ability to manage emotions and impulses, be flexible, and adapt as situations arise (responding without reacting).
Social awareness: The ability to empathize with others, navigate politically, and network proactively.
Relationship management: The ability to inspire by communicating persuasively, motivating others, building bonds, and disarming conflict.
I invite us to nurture ourselves and our genuine curiosity, empathy, and shared experiences with others to create lasting, heartfelt relationships. As leaders, connection and emotional intelligence allow us to inspire and support our team for greater meaning, purpose, and joy.
Invitations
PBJ Women’s Summit
Are you are in the Portland area and interested in connecting with women leaders? I encourage you to attend the Portland Business Journal’s Women’s Summit on Monday, February 24, from 2-5:30 at the Hilton Portland Downtown. I’ll be talking about “Navigating a Multigenerational Workplace.
Multnomah Athletic Foundation
As co-chair of the Multnomah Athletic Foundation and sponsor of MAF Week (March 7-14), I invite you to join us. We will raise funds and awareness to support youth participation in athletic and educational activities that promote discipline, leadership, and skill development.
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