3 Musings on Work + Life…Let It Be Vulnerability.
This quarter is a different kind of newsletter, and it’s very personal and vulnerable. Here are a few quotes from Brené Brown on vulnerability to set the stage.
“Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face daily are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.”
“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity.”
1. Traumatic Crash.
A day before my last newsletter (April 26 at 1:30 pm on a beautiful sunny day), I was in a horrific car crash where the experts expressed I had a .001 chance of survival. As I was stopped waiting for cars to come off the freeway so I could merge, I noticed one car going very fast.
After being awakened by a kind cyclist, I was told I had been hit, turned 180 degrees, and the roof of my car was ripped off. Later, a police report confirmed that a 20-year-old man fell asleep at the wheel, going over 60 miles an hour. Here’s a link to the coverage if you want to read more.
2. Humble Gratitude.
Although the crash was traumatic, the work begins after the seconds of insanity. I am grateful for the cyclist who woke up and stayed with me until the emergency personnel arrived. He was the first among many angels who cared for me on that day and who continue to support my recovery: paramedics, police, OHSU trauma team, PCP, concussion specialist, physical therapist, massage therapist, lawyer, and psychotherapist.
Relationships are a core value of mine, and I am eternally grateful for YOU, my friends, family, and clients who called, texted, sent cards and flowers, and shared meals. I saved every note as I cried tears of gratitude for the connections that carry me through life.
Most importantly, I am humbled that I survived, as many others under similar circumstances don’t. I know part of this comes from privilege. I had a car with airbags. I live in a city where emergency services come and serve quickly. I enjoy the time and resources to live a healthy lifestyle that has supported me mentally, physically, and spiritually on my recovery journey.
If you want to tap into your gratitude in work and life, I recommend reading and reflecting on the book Living in Gratitude: A Journey That Will Change Your Life. In addition, many of us will experience Post-Traumatic Stress, but what if we reframe it as Post-Traumatic Growth? Here are some resources from Positive Psychology to help us flip the script.
3. Abiding Trust.
With gratitude comes a feeling of responsibility. Why did I survive? What is mine to do? What is my purpose? How do I make meaning of this experience? These are the questions I am wrestling with, and my therapist suggested maybe I am to just “be.” Yes, practicing being present and trusting my inner resources is my work.
Last week, I completed a 6-month recertification of my New Ventures West’s professional coaching. The theme was creativity – an area where I choose to stretch and grow. Our closing session invited us to a 10-minute free write on what the last 6 months meant. “A letter to Linda from your soul.” I offer it to you as an invitation to lean into trust.
Dear Linda, Wow, what a year you have had. It began with wanting to tap into the creativity that already abides within you. You know it is there, don’t you. Please keep leaning into it and be curious about it. Don’t stifle yourself, trust I am with you, the Divine. You don’t need to worry or ruminate. Look to the sky, the mountains, the birds, and the water. They are all there to give you answers or at least to remind you that I am here, always. How do you do that, you say? Slow down, breathe, be present in the now. Wait for my nudges for they are your nudges. Trust them and say that “thing,” do that “thing.” Keep trusting your creativity and artistry. You are an artist and a creative in how you approach others, see the world, and love. Above all else keep loving all humanity, the ones that are easy to love and the ones that are hard to love. Everyone is on their own journey and only the Divine is privy to the nuances they face. You are to just be and smile. The smile is your light within the cracks. All need to see the light – won’t you show them the light? What I really want to say is trust yourself, trust I am within you. Don’t worry about others – know I am revealing your true self, layer by layer, bit by bit. It is a forever journey, and it will never be complete. Can you be patient and know I have a plan for you? I know it is hard for you not to plan – but it will be glorious and transformative. However, you must be quiet and listen. And the last thing I want you to know is I love you, and I know how much you love your people. I’ve got them. We are all connected. Don’t spend energy worrying about what you can’t control. Just be and love them with an open heart, a present body, and a quiet mind. With love, Your Soul
Invitations
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Contemplative Sit by Dr. Barbara Holmes “I am suddenly aware of my weariness, my fragility, and my deep uncertainty about what is happening to me and where I am heading in my life. Have I even begun to reckon with the depth of the sadness I carry within me or its sources? I know I have not. But here in this place I begin to realize that I must open myself to these questions, that this is part of why I am here. The shared silence. The intimacy. The sense of relief that we can let go, at least for a little while, of every inclination to explain or account for what is happening to us. We cannot explain it anyway. Sometimes we can hardly say a word. This life we are living: ineffable. Better to acknowledge this and relinquish the illusion that somehow, somewhere, there are words sufficient to encompass our experience.”
In work and life, I invite you to be vulnerable.
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